Blush Read online

  “Oh, no, don't do it,“ Sera begins, hand over her heart.

  “Don't do what?“ he asks.

  “Get all extreme with that sexified accent because I'll be going home with wet panties and no relief in sight,“ she confesses.

  The good doctor blushes a bit and I laugh.

  “Not true, Sera,“ I tell her looking at Cage.

  She grunts and frowns. Huh. I'll be digging for that information soon.

  “As I was saying, maybe you'd want to come work for us or with us or whatever. Do try to keep on task, doc.“

  He grins. “I'll do my best.“

  “That's all we can hope for. Now. First off, are you married?“

  “No.“

  I raise a brow and look at Sera. She smirks. Cage growls. I bite back a laugh.

  “Kids?“

  “No.“

  “Anything in particular keeping you here?“

  “Nope.“

  “So, you'd be willing to relocate?“

  He shrugs. “If the right thing came along, sure.“

  “If I wasn't married to the man of my dreams—the bastard—I'd tell you I could be the right thing for you and I'm sure I'd come along,“ I slur.

  “Whoa,“ Xander says laughing.

  “What did you give her?“ Sera asks.

  Dr. Hot Stuff just shakes his head.

  “Anyway, say you were offered…“ I name a number.

  “An obscene amount of money?“ he asks with a laugh and a raise of his eyebrows.

  I snort. Yes, snort. I'm feeling no pain and I can't care. I'm feeling lazy, sloppy, and carefree. “If that's what you want to call it.“

  “What would I do for this extremely generous salary?“

  “As you know we travel a lot. We have roadies and tons of personnel. If you'd have been on site tonight, you could have helped me and saved me a lot of attention in the waiting room by being able to call ahead to the hospital and all that jazz.“

  He nods. “Essentially I wouldn't have much to do, is what you're saying.“

  “Oh there's plenty to do. I'm thinking we can use someone to keep the road crew in shape, make sure they're lifting properly, things like that. And the rest of us could use someone to keep an eye on us. I mean, what if we get sick while on the road? If we get dehydrated? Couldn't you hook us up on the bus instead of admitting us to the hospital?“

  “I could and I see where you're going with this.“

  “And when we're not on tour, you could still be our personal physician and have your regular patients in your private practice.“

  “Hmm,“ he murmurs, finishing off the cast. My fingers are the size of sausages. Not the breakfast link sausages either. No, I'm talking big fat sausages—like bratwurst fat. It's so unattractive. That shit's going to hurt when these drugs wear off.

  “Where would I be located for this dream job?“

  “L.A. area. It's up to you where exactly.“

  “And how would I be able to open my own private practice without the funding?“

  “Oh, you'd have the funding,“ Cage interrupts from the corner. Shit. I forgot he was there. Damian has his arms crossed over his chest, a smirk on his face, and he sends me a wink. I try to wink back but end up blinking both eyes extra long. He chuckles and I snort again.

  The doc nods. “How soon would you need to know my answer?“

  I pat his cheek with my good hand. “Now would be great but I know that's not happening,“ I slur. “So let me give you my number—“

  “Nah,“ Cage says. “I'll give him mine. You've got enough to deal with right now.“

  I nod and swallow. “Thanks for the reminder, fucker.“

  Everyone busts out laughing, even the doc.

  “Sure, sure. Laugh it up. Laugh it up at the chick whose husband let fucking groupies…“ and then I lose it. I scream. I mean, I scream. All the emotions I had locked away, slithered through the cracks made by these sneaky-ass pain meds.

  “Oh, baby girl,“ Xander croons. He comes and pulls me to his chest.

  “I'm okay. I'm not crying, Xan my man.“

  “I know Luce my goose.“

  I snort at that. “I like that.“

  He nods. “Me too.“

  “I can't cry,“ I loud whisper as if that's going to stop anyone in the room from hearing what I'm saying.

  “Why not, doll?“

  I shrug. “I don't feel anything.“

  “That's the drugs,“ Sera says.

  “No,“ Cage tells her with a shake of his head. “She's shut down.“

  “What?“ Sera asks.

  “Her walls are up. I saw it on the way over.“

  I nod into Xander's chest and he sighs. He kisses the top of my head. “It'll be alright, Luce.“

  “Mhmm, I know.“

  “I'll take care of you. Sera, Damian, Cage. We've all got your back no matter what you decide. Okay?“

  I nod. “'Kay.“

  “Yes,“ Dr. Hot Stuff says.

  “Huh?“ I ask.

  “I'll take the job.“

  I grin, sort of. I'm sure it looks like more of a grimace but I'm trying anyway. “Excellent.“

  “Christ almighty, Lucy,“ Cage says incredulously. “How do you do that?“

  I shrug. “It's a gift.“

  “A gift,“ he repeats in disbelief.

  “Sure. Your gift is picking out talent, making amazing things come to life, and making money. Mine is finding the right person for the right job or position. Dr. Hot Stuff, here, is perfect. He'll fit right in.“

  “How do you know that?“ the doc asks with that sigh-worthy Irish accent Jesse is so not going to like him. Well, not him so much as the fact that I find him extremely hot and his voice makes my panties want to fall off.

  “Because if I'm sizing you up correctly, and I'm usually right—“

  “She is,“ Sera interrupts.

  “—then you won't put up with anyone's shit and do what needs to be done and make sure everyone else does the same.“

  The doc nods and I nod back.

  I hold out my hand, the left, which makes it awkward. “Luciana Antonia Russo-Kingston, but you can call me Lucy.“

  “Kane Finnegan Donovan, M.D., but you can call me Kane or doc if you prefer.“

  “Dr. Hot Stuff,“ Sera mumbles.

  I nod. “A pleasure. Welcome aboard.“

  “It's not a cruise ship,“ Sera teases.

  “Nope, it's not.“ Then I yell out, “All aboard! Ha ha ha ha ha ha!“

  “Hell yeah,“ Xander grins and whips out his phone. Within seconds Crazy Train by Ozzy Osbourne fills the air.

  “I'm going off the rails on a crazy train!“ I sing. “Won't you join me, doc?“

  “Don't mind if I do, Lucy. I don't mind if I do.“

  “There’s always a learning curve, where you’ve got to learn what your subject is all about.“

  —BRAD GILBERT

  “WHAT DID YOU just do, jackass?“ Ben asks me, clearly pissed off.

  “I don't know. I just—“

  “You just thought only of yourself,“ Regina scolds. “You are now married, Jesse, and that type of behavior is unacceptable.“

  “I didn't even think—“

  “That much is clear,“ Kennedy interrupts.

  Fuck. Is there anyone here who's going to bother to try to see where I'm coming from? I run a hand along the back of my neck.

  “You can no longer let these,“ Regina pauses, “ladies, and I use the term loosely—“

  Jace snorts. “Loosely.“ He holds up a fist for Regina who actually bumps knuckles with him. Holy hell. I'm so screwed.

  “You can't allow them to do what they've done in the past. You are no longer just you. You are half of a couple. How would you feel if some of the men here were rubbing their hands over Lucy in inappropriate places?“

  I see red. My fists clench. That shit better never happen.

  She nods. “Exactly.“

  “It didn't even reg
ister. I've never paid attention to that sort of thing unless I was looking to hook up with someone.“

  Meggie crosses her arms and raises a brow. “And what do you think that looked like to Lucy? Letting that bitch rub up on your dick. Are you fucking serious right now, Jesse?“

  “I seriously didn't even pay attention! I'm so used to being groped it doesn't even affect me anymore. If I hadn't been hard from watching Lucy, I wouldn't have been hard at all. Those chicks can rub me up and down all night and it does nothing for me unless I want it to,“ I defend.

  “Well, from Lucy's perspective it looked like you wanted it to whether you did or not. I've only see that look in her eyes once before and that was when the whole phone numbers thing happened,“ Ethan tells me.

  “Fuck!“ I run my hands through my hair and pace. “What the fuck am I supposed to do? How the fuck do I stop them from that shit? How do I get Lucy to understand what really happened here tonight?“

  Regina steps up. “You have an assistant with you at all times who will keep a respectable distance between you and the ladies.“

  That's a good idea. “Yeah. Yeah, I can do that,“ I nod.

  “As far as Luciana,“ Anthony, Lucy's dad, begins, “you might begin with groveling on your knees and I'm not sure even that will work. You'd just proposed to her on that stage and less than fifteen minutes later you let other women touch you inappropriately. What kind of message is that sending Lucy?“

  “Fuck,“ I whisper.

  “Yeah, buddy. I'd say you're pretty well fucked,“ Kennedy tells me. “But you two love each other so you can get through this if you're serious about wanting to make it together. If you want to go solo and just date, then don't pursue the marriage avenue, dude.“

  “I meant every fucking word I said up there. I can't imagine my life without her, not for a single fucking second. Do you know how much it's killing me right now to not be there for her when she's hurt? For her to lean on. It should be me there with her. Not Cage, Damian, and Xander. Fuck!“

  “I can try to talk to her when she comes to the hotel in the morning, to try to help her understand, but you have to remember one thing about Luciana,“ Anthony tells me.

  “What's that?“

  “She doesn't feel she's good enough. Remember your conversation that evening on the patio?“

  I nod. I do. Who can forget a conversation where the woman you love tells you that a guy, her first, the guy she thought she loved, abused her emotionally and physically to the point she lost a piece of herself. To the point where she ended up in the hospital so battered she could barely move. To the point she still hasn't gotten back to that sweet, confident girl I met back in Chicago. My baby's confidence and self-worth are less than perfect and my wife is so fucking amazing she should never doubt. Anything. Ever. Including me and my love for her. But I just gave her a reason.

  Fuck me.

  I hadn't even been thinking about any of that. I need to get over myself and think of only her.

  “Shit. You know I could give a rat's fucking ass if those chicks hung around or come to the next show or not. If they don't, someone else will fill the seats.“

  Regina nods. “You are no longer just a sex object, Jesse. You are a husband. You are Lucy's other half. You are the one Lucy should be able to turn to with her fears, especially about these things, but now I'm afraid you've elevated those fears. This isn't going to be easy to fix.“

  I nod, still pacing.

  “All you can do now is reassure her and treat her how she should always be treated. The way you treated her out there on that stage—with reverence, admiration, tenderness, and love. With every move you make you should be considering Lucy and how it will affect her. Every single thing you do affects her because you aren't two anymore, you are one,“ Ethan tells me.

  “Damn dude,“ Ben says. “I didn't know you had that in that blackened heart of yours.“

  Ethan smiles a humorless smile. “Yeah, well, considering…“

  Ben nods. “The whole been-there-done-that thing, only you were on the same end as Lucy.“

  Ethan's lips thin and he nods once.

  “We'll speak with Luciana in the morning, Jesse. Just remember, she appears strong but underneath it all is that frightened girl who always feels she isn't good enough. If I had the opportunity, I'd kill Ian Marston,“ Anthony tells no one in particular. I can see he's lost in what that Ian fucker stole from Lucy. I remember what she was like. Even that hour in the Chicago airport was enough to see the confidant, sure young woman Lucy was back then. Now I could only wonder as I look at her, just how much was the real Lucy and how much was actress Lucy.

  My phone rings and it's Cage.

  “How is she?“

  “She's feeling no pain. Good pain meds. Her hand is fractured in two spots. They're able to align with a little manipulation and they're going to cast her.“

  I blow out a breath relieved she doesn't need surgery but still pissed and guilty as hell she's got a broken fucking hand because of my actions, because of what I allowed to happen.

  “At least she doesn't need surgery,“ I tell him.

  “Yeah.“

  “How is she otherwise? About all the shit.“

  Cage blows out a breath, clearly uncomfortable. “It's not good, man.“

  “I didn't think it would be. How bad?“ I need to know even though I'm pretty sure I already do.

  “Really fucking bad.“

  I nod even though he can't see me. “Thanks man. Take care of her for me?“

  “Always. You never have to ask.“ With that, he hangs up and ends the conversation.

  “Cage?“ Kennedy asks.

  “Yeah. Her hand's fractured in two spots but she won't need surgery. She'll be casted. Fuck!“ And it's all my fault. My wife broke her hand punching a slut in the face because she was groping my package while I let her. Christ. I'm an asshole. It would serve me right if she bailed, but I'm not going to allow that to happen. I can't let her go. I love her with everything I am and it would kill me to lose her.

  “I've never been in a relationship before—of any kind. I don't—“

  Regina touches my shoulder. “Just be here for her and don't let her push you away too far. We'll talk to her in the morning. Now, we need to go get some rest.“

  “Thanks for that.“

  She smiles a small smile of pity and Anthony nods slightly.

  “It'll work out, Jesse,“ Ben says, clamping a hand on my shoulder.

  “I fucking hope so. I don't even know how to be without her anymore,“ I tell him.

  He nods. “Let's head back to the bus.“

  I look around and note the building has cleared out. Shit. What the hell time is it anyway? And how much of this is already out there on display for the world? Only one way to find out.

  WHEN WE GET back to the bus, Kennedy fires up the laptop while I grab a beer from the fridge.

  We all stand around waiting to see what the media's done with this story. He enters Lucy's name into Google and presses search.

  “Holy fuck,“ I yell. “How do they know her hand is broken when we just found out?“

  Kennedy raises an eyebrow. “Really dude? She's Luciana Russo-Kingston. That shit got leaked the minute she entered the ER.“

  I grunt. True.

  “There's video,“ Ethan tells me.

  “Great.“

  Kennedy chuckles and presses play. We watch the entire scene as it unfolded before us earlier and damn if I don't get hard watching Lucy all assertive.

  “Damn, that's hot,“ Ben states as if reading my mind.

  “Right?“ Ethan agrees.

  “Jesus, did you see that? No wonder she broke her hand. She slugged the fuck out of that chick. Not only did she hit her nose, she hit her cheekbone. I bet that chick has broken both,“ Kennedy tells us.

  “Hell. I don't want to be on the receiving end of that fist,“ Ben notes. He looks in my direction. “Duck and weave, motherfucker. Duck and weave.“ />
  “No shit,“ I reply.

  “They're back,“ Ethan tells us, looking out the window.

  Kennedy powers off the laptop and turns on the TV. Not a good plan with us as the starring attraction.

  They all board the bus and Xander's got an arm around Lucy, helping her up the steps. She's giggling and I want to grin, but I don't. I know a grin on my part will stop her laughter. I don't want her to be sad or angry. She's got pain to deal with and I'm talking the physical kind. Tonight we'll focus on that. Tomorrow we'll focus on the emotional.

  “Dude, Lucy's high as fuck,“ Xander laughs.

  Sera giggles. “She's been singing Crazy Train for the last hour and she's not the biggest fan of the Oz-man.“

  “Look, Jesse!“ she giggles, bounding forward to me. “I've got a pink cast!“

  “Perfect for you, Luce.“

  She nods. “I need white, silver, and gold markers. I'm going to decorate it tomorrow.“

  “Do you need me to go get that for you?“

  “No, no,“ she says, patting my chest. “Damian's going.“

  I bite my tongue and Ben smirks. Fucker. He knows that this pisses me off majorly. And I know that Lucy's still pissed beyond belief–right now she's just high and feeling no pain.

  When she starts singing again, this time singing Shock the Monkey, Xander sighs, “Thank Christ.“

  “Seriously,“ Sera agrees.

  I know what the monkey song means and I'm already reaching for her before she tries climbing my body. I lift beneath her thighs and she wraps her legs around my waist and her good arm around my neck.

  “I broke it, babe,“ she tells me, waving her cast in front of me.

  “I know, love. It'll be okay.“

  She yawns.

  “When was the last time she had any pain medication?“ I ask.

  “They gave her something just before we left so she should be good for four to six hours. The doc also gave her these,“ Xander tells me, holding out a prescription bottle.

  I whistle. “Heavy stuff, “ I tease. Tylenol with codeine is not heavy stuff but for Lucy it is.

  “She broke these two bones.“ Sera shows me on her own hand as Lucy rests her head on my shoulder, her breath wafting across my neck. It's such a welcome sensation that my heart beats faster and hurts a little. I hate that she's hurting like she is and it's because of me.