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  With that, Jesse leans in and gives me a deep kiss. I nearly moan out loud. When Jesse pulls away, he gives me a wink and gives his brother the finger.

  I look Ben in the eyes. “Is… are you okay with this?“ I ask, gesturing between me and Jesse.

  He lifts his brows in surprise. “Yeah, of course. Ah, doll, you know I think you're the best thing that's happened to the manwhore in… well, ever. He finally did something right and I get a bonus out of it.“

  “How's that?“ I ask.

  “He made you my sister.“

  Now the tears come and I can't help it. I pull away from Jesse and crawl into Ben's lap. “You're my big brother, Benny.“

  “Yeah, don't call me Benny.“

  “But it's cute.“ I pull back to look him in the eyes.

  “No. Never.“ He narrows his eyes.

  “But—“

  “No.“

  I give him a shove in the shoulder and go back by Jesse. I huff as I sit in the seat and cross my arms. Childish? Yes. But he's the one who brought up the brother thing and I wanted to have a nickname for him.

  “Aww,“ Kennedy says, “fighting like siblings already.“

  “I just wanted a nickname for him,“ I say with a pout. Jesse grins next to me and lifts a brow at Ben.

  “You can have a nickname for me,“ Ben affirms. “Just not Benny.“

  “Well, now I don't know what to call you!“ I can't think of any other nicknames. I'm not really good at coming up with things like that and no one else bothers to help me.

  “You'll come up with one eventually,“ Ben assures me. “'Til then I'll just be your big bro.“

  A smile tugs at my lips. “That works.“

  “Good. Now I'm going to crash until we get back to LA. This hangover is fucking killer.“

  Everyone mumbles their agreement. Jesse lifts the armrest and tugs me close. He tucks a pillow underneath his head as he lays half-on and half-off of the two chairs. When I crawl on top of him, he lifts his legs and swings them over the edge.

  I snuggle in close and breathe him in. My husband. I still can't believe it. I look up just to check… and he's looking at me. His lips lift in a grin, his dimples winking at me.

  “It's real,“ he tells me again.

  Tears well up in my eyes as I nod.

  “I love you, Luce.“

  I sniffle. “I love you, Jesse.“

  “Let's get some rest.“

  I rest my head on his chest, listening to him breathe, but it's the beat of his heart that lulls me to sleep. My husband's heart.

  I'M DANCING WITH Jesse in a club. People surround us, the beat slow and thick, vibrating through us as our bodies sway against one another. It's just like that night, the night we ended up all over YouTube and the Internet, only it's different, he looks younger. The club is pulsing and hot and sweat is beading on my body. No one is paying Jesse any attention. No one even seems to recognize him. They're staring at me. I can feel their eyes. I ignore it and focus on the sensations Jesse's bringing forth.

  His cock is hard in his jeans and it's pressing right against my throbbing clit. I wish we were naked, no barriers. Just him slipping hot and hard inside of me as he lifts my legs, resting his hand on my bottom, while I hook my ankles at his back.

  I meet his gaze, his eyes nearly black with desire, mirroring my own. I cup his cheeks then lean in for a kiss only for him to pull back. He smirks when I can't hide my confusion.

  “What's going on?“ I ask.

  “No kissing.“

  “Why not?“

  “Kissing makes it something it's not. The one-time fucks, we don't kiss. Ever.“

  “Jesse, we're married. What are you talking about?“ I'm starting to panic now as the crowd shouts along with the song booming in the background.

  He laughs. “Married? What shit have you been smoking? I don't do marriage. Ever. Fuck, I've never even had a girlfriend in my life.“

  My brow furrows. What the fuck is going on?

  “You're just that girl with the schoolgirl crush. Let's go fuck and see if I'm as good as in your fantasies.“ He's cold yet sensual and I'm having a hard time resisting him, especially when he slides his finger inside my pants and thrusts it into my wet pussy. Jesus. Right here in the middle of a club.

  “No one cares,“ he tells me as if he knows what I'm thinking.

  “But this'll end up all over—“ I begin.

  “Nah. No one knows who you are.“

  “Really?“

  He shrugs. “I don't even know who you are. Just that you're Lucy from the Chicago airport. Should I know who you are?“

  I'm so confused. “I—I guess not.“

  He nods then smirks. “I'm going to fuck you right on the table. Right there,“ he points. “Then you can tell me if reality beats fantasy.“

  I don't know this Jesse. I don't recognize him. He'd never expose me in public.

  My body betrays my mind. I'm not in control at all. I feel like I'm floating as he walks over to the table and sits me down, his thumb circling my clit while he fingers me. When my ass comes in cold contact with the table, I realize he's removed my pants. When I look up again, his gaze is even more heated as he dips his head low to suck on my nipple.

  I'm completely naked, sitting on a table in the middle of a club, and Jesse Kingston is finger-fucking me with people everywhere. Why don't I care? He adds a second finger and I moan. It feels so fucking good, so good, I start moving against his hand.

  “That's it, baby, show me what you want. Fuck my fingers like you want to fuck my cock,“ he tells me before biting my bottom lip and sucking on it.

  His thumb presses harder and I can't hold off the orgasm. I come right there. In front of everyone and they all shout. I don't know if it's because I'm coming or if it's to the song. My mind is hazy and filled with lust when Jesse pulls out his cock, hard and huge.

  “I'm going to fill you up and fuck you so you never forget what I feel like inside of you.“

  I couldn't. I wouldn't forget. I want to tell him this, but my lips won't move. My brain is barely working but my body, oh my body is fully alive.

  He slips on a condom then thrusts into me. Pain blisters through my vagina. Fuck, fuck, fuck. I whimper and he smirks.

  “That cherry is mine. I'm adding it to the collection of the rest who put me on their fantasy list.“ He holds himself still for a few minutes as I adjust. He winks then moves a little and while it burns, it's not as bad as before.

  “Better?“ he asks.

  I nod, trying to open my mouth.

  “You don't get to talk. Just fuck.“

  Why? But I can't ask. I can't do anything but feel as Jesse pulls his cock back before thrusting inside again. He leans me back on the table, resting his elbows on either side of my head. He sucks on my neck, finding the spot only he can find and I moan. My pussy gets wetter and I know he feels it when he groans aloud.

  “There you go. Relax and fuck me back. Let me take that pussy on the ride you've been begging me for. So hot and tight, wet with your juices.“ He grunts and moves faster inside me, his bare chest abrading my nipples, adding more sensation to my already overloaded body.

  I feel my clit begin to pulse as his cock slips in and out of me, hitting that incredible bundle of nerves that has me lifting and lowering my hips to match his rhythm: hot, hard, and deep.

  He bites my neck and growls. “Damn, you're a good fuck for a virgin, baby. Yeah, scratch me, kitten. Give me what you want me to see to try and convince me you're the one for me.“ He fucks me harder as he smirks.

  “You need to come,“ he tells me.

  My head tips back and I let out a whimper when he fingers my clit and sends me over the edge. I come and come and come.

  He meets my gaze as he lets go, his face contorting in pleasure, his moan long and loud. He grunts and keeps thrusting.

  “Fuck, baby,“ he breathes when he stills. “I think I need to get your name and number. You're a damn good fuck.“
/>
  I look at him, confused.

  “You can talk now. What's your name, baby?“

  Wow. How drunk must he be if he knew my name before we fucked but forgets it the minute we're done. Or had he forgotten the whole time. Was that what calling me “baby“ was all about? I wonder if this is something that he does regularly—conveniently forgetting the woman's name after he gets what he wants.

  I wet my lips with my tongue. “Lucy.“

  “Yeah, that's right,“ he replies while he tosses the condom into a trash can and tucks his cock back into his pants. “You wanna hook up when I come to town?“

  “You mean be fuck buddies?“

  He chuckles. “Kinda, yeah. You'd be one of my 'regulars'. You know, my regular girl when I'm in town.“

  “Yeah, sure.“ What the hell am I doing? What the hell is going on? I didn't even say that but it came out of my mouth. Is this what it would have been like if I'd have met him after a show back then? Is that what this is?

  “Let me help you there,“ he murmurs and dips a napkin into some ice water. “I don't normally do this kind of pussy stuff, but you've got some blood and that lacy thong you've got is entirely too sexy to be ruined by virgin blood.“

  Like it doesn't matter that I just gave him my virginity.

  Yeah, I don't like this Jesse at all.

  “Hand me your phone,“ he tells me, handing me the napkin. “I'll add my number to your phone while you clean yourself up.“

  Well, alright then. I wipe my sore and rather raw pussy with the coolness of the napkin then scramble to get dressed.

  I'm so dizzy I sway to the side and Jesse laughs.

  “What did they give you, baby?“ he asks with a laugh.

  “What?“

  “What'd you take?“

  “I don't know.“

  He laughs again. “And to think you looked so innocent standing there. You were ready to go all bad girl, weren't you? If you weren't as sore as I know you are, I'd fuck you again right now.“

  My traitorous pussy gets wet.

  “I'm not this girl,“ I tell him.

  “You are. You're just like the rest. They all think they know who I am. They all think they know what I want, what I need. Right now, this is exactly what I want and need. Nothing more. Hell, I don't do relationships. You should know this, right? Since you've been following me since the beginning.“ I don't respond, I can't. I can only stare at this asshole version of Jesse that I really, really don't like.

  He hands me back my phone. “I'll be in town for a few more days. Let's hook up tomorrow night after the show.“ He hands me tickets and a VIP pass. “The pass will get you to the after party. I'll see ya then.“ With a wink and a laugh, he walks off. I watch as a blonde with big boobs that are, no doubt, fake, slinks up to him and rubs against him.

  “How come you don't talk dirty to me like that when we fuck?“ she whines.

  He doesn't answer her but instead responds with a grab of her ass.

  Thoroughly disgusted, I straighten my shirt and see a pair of blue eyes staring at me from one table over. It's Xander with a red Mohawk. God, they're only in their early twenties! How did I get here?

  One side of Xander's mouth lifts. He crooks a finger at me and I walk over. I don't sit. “He's not ready for you yet. Not here, not now and if I'd met you here and now, I'd have taken you from him. I would never have treated you like that, even then.“

  “Then?“

  “Then is now. Past. You were right to wait to meet him. Right now, he's not the guy you know. You needed to see this so you would stop questioning if you made the right decision. You did.“

  I blink and Xander disappears. The room goes black and I jolt upright.

  I gasp.

  “It's just a little turbulence,“ Xander says beside me.

  I look up into those blue eyes that just haunted my dreams. “It feels like more than that.“

  “It does, doesn't it?“

  I nod. “I don't know how, but thank you.“

  He tilts his head and one side of his mouth lifts in a small, sad smile. “Always live life with no regrets. That was the message she sent.“

  “Um, this is weird.“

  “Fuckin' A it is,“ he replies.

  “Who sent the message, Xander?“

  “Lily. Your Aunt Lily.“

  I gasp again, jolting awake again, this time for real.

  “It's just some wicked turbulence, Luce,“ Xander tells me.

  I carefully look up at him.

  “You alright?“ he asks, concern filling his sapphire eyes.

  “Yeah. Just a dream.“

  “I had one too about some chick named Lily. Never met anyone named Lily before. Was fucking strange.“

  I snort.

  “Yours too?“

  “You have no idea.“ Well, maybe he does…

  “Adults are just outdated children.“

  —DR. SEUSS

  “I'VE GOT IT,“ Xander shouts and bangs his fist on the table in the quaint little diner.

  “What have you got? Herpes?“ Meggie asks with a snort.

  “Ha, ha. No, smart ass, I've got our title.“

  “What title?“ Sera asks.

  “Well, you know how PR goes through and gives the tour some fancy schmancy title, usually based on the album title?“

  “Yeah,“ Cage tells him. “I think we've got that handled.“

  “Dude, Cage. No. I've got the title for our tour.“

  Cage lifts a brow. “Yeah? What is it?“

  “The BFD tour.“

  Meggie snorts.

  “The what?“ Cage asks.

  “The BFD tour. See, technically it can be the Blush-Falling Down tour but really what we'll be calling it is the Big Fucking Deal tour.“

  “Um, Xander?“ I say.

  “Yeah, Luce, what's up?“

  “Well, the big fucking deal thing? That can be construed as it's really not a big fucking deal.“

  He waves a hand at me. “Luce. We're talking about us. There is no mistaking that.“

  “True, true.“

  “So what do you say, Cage my man? The BFD tour?“ Xander asks with a grin.

  “Yeah, Xander, I just don't see that working. We can't have profanity in the slogan for the tour.“

  “Dude, no one needs to know it's profanity.“

  “Everyone knows that BFD means big fucking deal, Xander,“ Sera tells him with a laugh.

  Xander pouts for a second and silence fills the diner. Then he perks up. “You know what? Fuck you all. I'm going to slogan the shit out of this tour all by myself and informally call it the BFD tour. That's going to catch on so much better than whatever bullshit your PR asshats are cooking up, Cage, and you know it. The BFD tour is going to be a big fucking deal!“

  “Fuck yeah it is,“ Jesse agrees with a fist bump. Everyone else fist bumps as well.

  “That's pretty freaking clever, Xan my man,“ I tell him and he preens. Seriously, he preens.

  Cage blows out a breath. “I guess there's no choice then is there?“

  “None,“ Xander smirks.

  Cage nods. “The Blush-Falling Down aka BFD tour it is.“

  “This is going to be fucking awesome,“ Ethan says.

  “No, no dude,“ Xander corrects. “It's going to be a big fucking deal!“

  “We're going to have to listen to this until the tour's over aren't we?“ Sera asks, leaning over and whispering in my ear.

  I sigh. “I'm afraid so. Xander's on a roll and we don't want to hurt his feelings. I hate when he gets all pouty.“

  Sera nods. “Okay.“

  A few minutes later Sera shouts out, “BFD!“

  And Xander answers her with a fist bump and a really loud, “Yeah baby! B effing D!“

  Cage wipes a hand over his face and shakes his head in disbelief. “Bitches, fuckers, skank-ass-hoes, groupie whores, and big fucking deal. You all are going to get me fined for sure, possibly even sued.“

  Se
ra bumps his shoulder with hers. “Should make for an interesting tour, huh?“

  Cage laughs. “That it will, Sunshine. That it will.“

  THE LAST TWO weeks before the tour flew by. They were filled with practices, meetings with Cage, meetings with Irene, meetings with Damian (hottie), working with Spenser, Carmen, and Simone about hair, makeup, and wardrobe. I wasn't sure if they were going to want me to hire someone to handle wardrobe but they assured me that between the three of them they had it under control. It works for me.

  True to what Sera told me on the plane, my parents were okay with Jesse and I getting married. There was only one catch—my mother gets to plan a large wedding while we're on tour. We worked out a date about two months after the tour, so my mother had a full six months to go crazy—and she'd already started. I didn't get much say in anything other than colors, flowers, and we are at a cake tasting session.

  Of course, Xander had to come along. That guy. I have no idea how he eats as much as he does and looks as good as he does. The man is built. I mean seriously built. Factor in the body, his short brown messy hair, ice blue eyes, and full lips—he is a chick magnet. Add the personality into the equation and women stand no chance. Right now he is charming the women helping and serving the samples of the different flavors of cake.

  They blush and giggle—even the owner, who is well into her sixties. The man has no shame. He loves women and women love him and he makes no excuses. He enjoys making women feel special and happy. If he can bring a smile to a sad woman's face, it makes his entire day. He thinks every woman should be happy, smiling, and adored. One day he'll make a magnificent husband. I tried to tempt Sera in that direction and I think she's considering it. I raise my eyebrows just thinking about it. I bet you are too.

  “Babe.“ Jesse pulls me from my daydreaming.

  “Hmm?“ I return his smile. How can I not? He's my husband and he's gorgeous and so sweet and attentive and clearly enjoying every bite of cake he can get.

  “Can we get different flavors for each tier?“

  I nod. “We can. How many—“

  “At least six,“ my mother interrupts.

  “Six tiers? Just how many people are you inviting?“

  She shrugs.