Xander: Part One (Rockstar #9) Page 6

  I'm still riding the high from practice, but now I'm nervous as hell, too. I take a shower, washing everything twice. If Tera's coming to my room tonight, I'm going to be ready.

  Just thinking about it gets me hard. It's probably a good thing. If I rub one out now, then I won't have to worry about coming before she does.

  I squirt some body wash in my hand and lather up my cock. My forehead and left arm resting against the tiled shower wall while my right hand wraps around my dick. I start stroking slowly, thinking about Tera, imagining it's her hand and that gets me even harder. She excites me like nothing I've ever experienced.

  Thinking about touching her breasts, I start to jack myself off faster. Closing my eyes I imagine touching her pussy. She'd be wet. I know she would be. She gets just as hot as I do. I can see it. She's gonna be tight as fuck. I know it. She and Carter weren't hot and heavy like we are. I want to rip her clothes off every time she's within reaching distance.

  Slipping inside her is going to be hot. I start pumping into my tight fist fast, imagining it's Tera. I'd take her slow, then as she gets into it, I'd go faster and harder, paying attention to what makes her feel good. She's going to come tonight. I won't stop until she does.

  When she does, she'll arch her back, her throat exposed to me. I'll kiss, lick, and bite it; reach up and play with her nipples, and she'll clench around me. I'll feel her get super wet and hot as she comes, and then I'll fuck hard into her a couple more thrusts and come. Like now, it's going to be hard and long. I groan as my cum coats the shower wall.

  Fuck. If it's this good just thinking about her, the real thing might damn well kill me.

  I catch my breath and rinse my cum down the drain. I'm still sporting a semi.

  "Stop thinking about her," I tell myself. "Think of something disgusting." Like what?

  I think back to when I came home earlier, Mr. Martinez doing some shit in the flowers, his ass crack hanging out. Fucking nasty. Within seconds I'm soft.

  I dry off and put on my boxer briefs then a pair of Nike shorts. I'm about to grab a tank top when I hear the lock on my door softly click closed.

  I rub the white towel over my still-wet hair and see Tera standing there, her bottom lip between her teeth, a naughty gleam in her eyes.

  Hell yeah. She's ready.

  "Hey," she says, sounding a little shy.

  "Hey," I say back, smirking at her. She blushes a bit and looks down. I chuckle then toss my towel to the floor. I'll pick it up later.

  I walk toward her. "Look at me."

  She does slowly, shyly.

  "You don't have to be shy, T. Not with me. Never with me," I reassure her.

  She nods. "I know. I'm a little nervous."

  "I am too," I admit.

  Her eyes widen. She didn't expect me to be that honest? Right now there should be nothing but honesty.

  "Xan, there's something you should know," she begins.

  "Okay. Tell me," I encourage.

  "Even though I did… even though I had sex, it wasn't very much," she confesses.

  Shea was right. "Like how much not very much?"

  She snickers. "Like, less than twenty times."

  My brow furrows. "Wait. What? You had a weekend with him and then the rest of the time…"

  She looks down, then right back up and meets my gaze. Taking a deep breath she stands up straight, walking closer and sitting on the bed.

  "We only did it twice that weekend. The first night we fell asleep. That Saturday is when we did it and you know it's not that great for girls the first time. It hurts a bit no matter how slow you go."

  I wince inwardly, hating that she gave him that—that he was the one to take that. We should have been each other's firsts. I keep saying it and hating myself for making sure that didn't happen by putting distance between us, denying what I felt for her.

  "Okay," I encourage, rubbing her back.

  "So, we only did it once that day. This is so embarrassing and just… weird, telling you about me having sex with someone else," she expresses.

  I nod. "It is weird and not the best topic of conversation I've ever had, but I think I should know what you did and stuff." This time I can't hide the wince.

  "Oh, God, Xan. Maybe we shouldn't talk about this."

  "It's okay. I'm fine. I promise."

  She eyes me skeptically, but continues. "I… bled quite a bit so we didn't do it again that day."

  Fucking idiot. She would have probably enjoyed it more at that point. Less resistance. I would have tried, at least.

  "We did it early the next morning before his parents came home. The other times were just random."

  "Tera."

  She just looks at me.

  "You were with him for more than a year," I say, pretty stunned they didn't fuck like bunnies.

  She blushes. "We were pretty young when we started dating and I wasn't ready. For a long time I wasn't ready. On our nine month anniversary is when we planned for."

  That leaves, what? Around six months.

  "What…" I pause. "How? Why?"

  "I loved him, Xan, but he didn't give me those sparks you do." She snickers. "Not sparks… more like, flames. All you have to do is give me that look."

  I give her the look and her breath catches. Awesome.

  "I'm going to take this slow. I want to savor you."

  She bites her lip again and nods. She kicks off her flip-flops, pulls her shirt over her head, and pulls down her shorts. There's my Tera.

  "You're fucking beautiful," I tell her. I can barely breathe, she's so perfect. She stands there in front of me in nothing but a see-through light blue bra and a scrap of lace that barely covers her pussy.

  I walk over to her, looking into her eyes. "We don't have to—"

  She stands on tiptoe and kisses me silent. Her arms wrap around my neck as far as she can reach and her lace-covered tits push against my chest.

  Instant hard-on. I honestly don't know if I'm going to be worth a damn in the sack with her. She's just… fuck. She's everything.

  "I want you, Xander. I've always wanted you. Let's pretend it's our first," she whispers, a tear slipping down her cheek.

  I nod. "But no regrets. I have to believe everything happens for a reason."

  "Yeah, you're a dumbass," she teases.

  I laugh. "That I am."

  "Do you want me, Xander? As your first?" she asks, her voice quiet and shy.

  "I want nothing more, T. I don't just love you. I am so deeply in love with you I don't even know how to handle it sometimes," I confess. It feels right to tell her everything I feel. I don't give a shit if the guys would call me a pussy for admitting it. All that matters is her and letting her know.

  "I've been in love with you since you told me I couldn't sing for shit," she smiles. "But it's grown over time, Xan, and I can't explain how much I feel for you."

  I swallow hard and nod. I push my shorts down.

  She reaches behind her back and unclasps her bra, letting it fall down her arms to the floor.

  "So perfect," I breathe.

  "Your turn," she whispers.

  I slide my boxer briefs down. Her eyes widen when she looks at my dick. I want to strut around. Obviously I'm bigger than Winters. I've finally one-upped that fucker.

  She slides her panties down, lifting her foot and toeing them off.

  Wow. She's fucking glorious. All I can think right now are the words of a John Mayer song because her body is a wonderland. I am going to enjoy playing there—and it won't be once tonight.

  "Come here, Tera," I coax.

  One step. Two steps. Then she's in front of me again, pressing against me.

  I waste no time. I take her mouth in a hot and hard kiss.

  She walks forward, I walk backward, our arms around one another. The backs of my knees hit the side of the bed and I fall backwards. She snickers and I grin. She crawls right up on top of me, straddling my hips, her pussy hovering over my cock.

  "You are unbeliev
ably gorgeous, Tera."

  "You're not so bad yourself." She smiles, then licks a path down my chest.

  Wha-What? That can't happen.

  Chapter Six

  Tera

  I'm working my way down his body and he stops me. Stops me. What the hell?

  "Can't do that now. Later," he tells me.

  The light bulb goes on. "Oooh."

  "Yeah."

  "So, can we skip all the major foreplay then?" I ask. "Because I'm so turned on, Xan, I don't really need it. I just want to feel you."

  I feel no embarrassment under his scrutiny. There's no room for that here.

  Xander nods and crawls up the bed, pulling the blankets back, urging me to lie back and rest my head on the pillow.

  "I don't want to hurt you," he whispers, and I hear the double meaning there.

  "You won't." Nothing can hurt me as badly as when we were apart.

  He reaches over to the nightstand and picks up one of the condoms sitting there. After rolling it on, he settles in next to me. He's as worked up as I am. I can tell. His breathing is heavy, his heart is beating a mile a minute: it's all a mirror of me.

  Xander moans when he slants his mouth over mine in a tongue-tangling kiss that has my toes curling. Just a kiss has me getting wetter. His hand slides down my body and he reaches between my legs. His fingers glide over me, dipping into the moisture pooling there.

  He looks at me. "You're as wet as I am hard. I have a feeling this first time won't last long."

  My eyes widen. "First time?"

  He nods. "Oh yeah. Once won't be enough. I don't think it'll ever be enough."

  "Then what are you waiting for? Haven't we waited long enough?" I encourage.

  "Fucking A we have." He positions himself between my legs and guides his cock to my opening. "Tell me if I do anything that hurts or you don't like, okay?"

  I lick my lips, anxious, nervous, and horny as hell. "Okay."

  His eyes never leave mine as he slowly pushes inside me. He's gentle and tender and I can tell it's not easy for him to be. Honestly, I don't want him to be. I want to know what all the fuss is about. Carter and I had sex, but I didn't orgasm with him. Not once. I don't think I'm going to have that problem with Xander because we just started and it feels so good I want to cry.

  "Xan," I breathe against his lips.

  "Yeah?"

  "Don't go slow. Not this time. I really, really want you."

  "God, Tera. I thought knowing you're all hot and horny for me was the biggest fucking turn on ever. Hearing you say you really want me in that needy voice…" He lets out a growl and thrusts into me.

  "Yes," I say, trying to be quiet. I think I'm failing because he slams his mouth down on mine and kisses me deeply as he fills me completely. I moan into his mouth and he groans in return.

  I want him deeper. I need him deeper. I lift my legs and wrap them around his waist.

  "Oh, that's so good," he tells me, his eyes closing. Without warning, his lips wrap around my nipple, and he tugs it gently with his teeth.

  "Fuck," I cry, and he chuckles.

  "Quiet, baby, or someone's going to hear you."

  "I can't help it."

  He pumps faster and harder, sweat beading his brow.

  "Lift your hips and—yeah, just like that," he praises.

  I meet him in the middle.

  "Tera," he whispers, his gaze meeting mine.

  "Xan," I whisper back.

  "I want you to come with me."

  I want that too, but I don't know… I've never… Then he changes the angle and holy crap. He's hitting some magical spot inside me and rubbing against my clit in just the right way.

  It feels so good, the pleasure building and building until it's almost frightening.

  "Xan," I whisper hesitantly.

  "It's okay, baby. I'll catch you. Don't be afraid."

  I arch my back taking him impossibly deeper, him rubbing me harder, and the bubble of pleasure explodes. It all starts in my pussy and works its way outward. Bright swirling lights, tingling arms and legs, my breath backing up in my lungs. Ohgodohgodohgod. I don't think I'll survive.

  "Xan!" I cry as my body shakes.

  "That's it, Tera. God, you're beautiful."

  He thrusts into me a couple more times and he lets go, too. His face contorts in pleasure, he grunts with each additional pump of his hips, and then he lets out a long and low groan. "Tera."

  I expect him to collapse on top of me, pull out, and go to clean up, but none of that happens. It's not fair of me to compare sex with Carter to sex with Xander, because with Xander it's so much more.

  He rests his elbows on either side of my shoulders and touches his nose to mine.

  "Now you're mine, Tera. There's no going back. There's no changing minds. It's you and me—no matter what."

  Xander kisses me tenderly as the tears slip from my cheeks. I'm his. I've waited for this forever and I never thought it would happen, but I'm his. And he's mine.

  "I love you so much, Tera."

  "Oh Xan, I love you too."

  We hug for a few minutes. He kisses the tip of my nose then goes to dispose of the condom. He comes back with a wet rag and I smirk. I'm not a virgin. But he wipes between my legs softly and the warm cloth feels nice.

  Could I be any more exposed?

  His brow is furrowed.

  "What's wrong?" I ask.

  "You said you and Carter had sex, right?"

  I nod.

  "Then why did you bleed?" he asks, lifting the cloth for me to see.

  "Oh my God," I say, blushing profusely. "Um… I don't know?"

  "Do you think you might have your period?" he asks. "I didn't hurt you, did I? If I made you bleed…"

  "No. Stop. I'm sure it's all normal, but if I keep bleeding I'll talk to your dad," I tell him.

  "That'll be fun. 'Dr. Mac. I had sex with Xan and now I'm bleeding.'" He chuckles.

  "As if he doesn't think we've been having sex since we got back together. I'm sure he thinks we've been going at it a lot," I tease, yet in truth, I wonder why we haven't.

  "I know what you're thinking."

  I shake my head.

  "Yes, I do," he tells me, lying on his side facing me. I face him and he covers us up. The air conditioning is cold.

  "Whatever," I say, tucking my hands between my cheek and the pillow as Xan's doing.

  "I've wanted you, Tera. So much I've been hard almost every minute of every single day. I just didn't want to rush you. I didn't want you to think you have to give me sex for me to love you. You don't. I'm going to love you no matter what."

  He kisses me again, just a press of lips.

  "I know it's my fault you don't believe that, but you need to start. There is no one who will ever compare to you," he confesses.

  "Xan."

  "I mean it."

  I nod. "I believe you." How can I not? The sincerity and love in his eyes can't be faked.

  "You know, one of the things I love most about you is your heart."

  "Yeah?"

  I nod. "See, I've noticed something about you. When you feel, you feel it with everything you've got. When you hurt, you break. When you love, you love fiercely. When you're happy, it's infectious."

  "You're the same way."

  "No. I don't go all-in with everyone. Only those I can trust, and I trust you with me. All of me," I profess.

  "Good." He pulls me close and starts kissing me again, only this time it's not so gentle and it doesn't stop.

  "Mmm," I moan into his mouth.

  "The sounds you make are so fucking hot. I can't wait to get you alone somewhere so you can scream as loud as you want—and I am going to make you scream. Make no mistake about it," he grins that cocky grin.

  "Yeah, yeah. We'll see if you can deliver on prom night. Maybe some of the others will hear me while they're partying down the hall. Then your buddies will slap you on the back, pride and all that," I snort.

  "You're such a brat," he d
eclares.

  "Of course I am. You know this."

  He laughs.

  I don't want to ask, but I want to know. Why? Why do I do this to myself? I frown at myself.

  "What is it?" he asks.

  I sigh. "Nothing important."

  "No you don't. Spill it, bratty pants."

  "I don't want to."

  "Too bad. Tell me."

  I roll my eyes then meet his gaze. "It's just…"

  His face softens and he nods knowingly. He swallows nervously.

  "You need a number."

  "I don’t need it. I'm just… I wonder sometimes."

  "How many do you think?" he asks, straight-faced.

  "Uh, I don't know."

  "Take a guess."

  "Fifteen," I blurt out.

  His brows lift and he grins that grin again. "Wow. You think I'm a stud, huh?"

  "Oh boy. Your ego does not need to inflate any more," I tease.

  "No where near that many. You think I'm a whore. I'm kind of insulted," he says, feigning offense.

  I snort. "You're so not."

  He grins. "No, I'm not." He pauses, looking at me, making sure I'm looking at him. "Four."

  I gasp. I can't help it. The surprise…

  "Three were willing. Then that one where I wouldn't have been willing if she hadn't drugged me. I'd prefer not to count that one, so let's make it three."

  I nod. "Wow. Not at all what I was expecting."

  "I think Jesse might be close to the big number, though."

  I wrinkle my nose. "He is such a slut. He's always been like that. I don't think he's ever going to settle down. He's going to be manwhoring in a nursing home."

  Xan chuckles. "Probably."

  I snicker.

  "Since I know your one, you want names?" he questions.

  I shake my head. "No. Absolutely not. I don't want to have to kick someone's ass. The less I know, the better. But thanks for the offer."

  He nods. "I'll always tell you everything."

  "You are the best guy I know."

  "Of course I am."

  "You're pretty hot, too."

  "I knew it. You think I'm sexy and hot and you want to use me for my body."

  "Hmm. Would that be a problem?"

  He laughs and I smile wide.

  "Not at all. I'm a teenage guy. I want to fuck and fuck and fuck some more."